Barnaby Bibble
Barnaby Bibble snuffled and spewed
Cigarette smoke which caused a bad feud
With his parents and cousins and closest friend Trevor
Who had vowed not to smoke forever and ever.
At the age of nine Bibble was fully equipped
With Nicotine rings and filter-tipped lips,
And the billowing smoke was such a tirade
That calls were sent out to the Fire-Brigade.
He made a mistake, though, by smoking too close
To a Bison named Tyson who grew quite morose,
And fretted and fussed and generally rutted,
Till in sad desperation poor Bibble he butted.
Sam Mcpham
Sam Mcpham and Pam Mcphee
Were partners two in gluttony
Sam liked fat and Pam did too,
They ate the lean, but with cream and goo.
But mistakenly they tried to steal
The Hippo’s lunch of potted eel;
When the Hippo then for his luncheon sat
Sam and Pam were rendered flat:
The Hippo thought that Pam was jam
And that Sam was just a slice of ham
So he ate them both a shame a sham,
And washed them down with minted lamb.
Ethan Lancelot O’Dwyer
Ethan Lanacelot O’Dwyer
Was many things, but most a liar.
He told his teachers that in 1215
Magna Carter became England’s Queen,
That Oliver Cromwell ate pie a lot
And married a maiden named Violet,
And that the Queen of Sheba was really a man
Who lived in Moe and drove a red van.
But at the zoo he did not seek to soften
And told a fib just once too often,
To a keeper of Big Cats, a shy girl called Rita
Who made of the liar a lunch for the Cheetah.
Sally Spewings
For Sally Spewings the letter S
Was a terrible curse that she must confess
For when she pronounced it, it came out ‘Eth’.
A Constrictor snake took that to mean
That Sally did reptiles demean,
For to Serpentine lore and myth
Their splendid hisses she sounded ‘Hith’
So he took her in a pythonic embrace
Which squeezed her limbs her nose her face
And might have swallowed her bones and pith
But feared infection by Sally’s ‘Hith’
So he disgorged poor Sally now turned quite blue;
She recovered entirely, but lost one shoe.
Prudence Dealer
Young Prudence Dealer was pure as white cotton,
Improper thoughts for her were just not on;
None of her gains were bad or ill-gotten,
But sadly for her, her temper was rotten.
She didn’t just throw tantrums, God bless her,
By special arrangement she launched them from NASA,
Which confused most profoundly a very large Ape,
Who was eating bananas, his mouth was agape,
And in his confusion he picked up Prue Dealer,
And without hesitation, he started to peel her.